Troubled...

  I'm torned. My boyfriends says that he wants to be with me but he says he thinks that his health is not well. He is afraid of...you know. I'm afraid too. I don't want to lose him. I love him so much. I can't bear it. He sent me an SMS just now not so long ago. He says that it's not that he didn't want to check his health, but he is afraid. He is afraid of what he may have to find out. It's heartbreaking. He doesn't want to know he has any sickness.

  Sometimes its a blessing that we don't know stuff, but sometimes, we just had to know. No matter how upsetting it is. I want to help him, I want to be there for him. I wish and pray that he will be alright and fine. I almost can't hold back my tears now. Thinking of it cuts me. I don't...I can't...I can't accept it if he's gone.

  Thinking what my life would be like without him is imaginable.God bless us all. God helps him please. Don't take him away from me.